For “Maximum Enjoyment” please follow these oddly specific steps…

    by weebehemoth

    41 Comments

    1. I wish they provides times for 25 and 28c as that is far more likely the temperature I’ll be eating these in.

    2. DON’T DO THIS!!!! I TRIED IT AND IT WAS SO ENJOYABLE IT RUINED MY ABILITY TO ENJOY ANYTHING ELSE IN LIFE! IM NOW A WALKING HUSK WAITING TO DIE!

      wait, i’ve always been like that. carry on.

    3. It’s not wrong, though…

      Gotta get the most out of your $6 ice cream sandwich. You want the cookie to soften up, but don’t want to wait so long that the ice cream starts melting. 

      Strawberry with brown sugar cookies is the goat

    4. BagOfShenanigans on

      I assume this is at standard atmospheric pressure and humidity? Come on, bro. Where are the specifics?

    5. Obviously you have never had one at 3 minutes and 49 seconds. It’s not even worth eating at that point.

    6. those ice cream sandwiches rule though, I used to get them from the corner store when I lived in seattle and it was the fuckin best

    7. Their product testers have the “tism”. It’s a superpower. Trust. You might enjoy these, but you’ll never enjoy it nearly as much as the guy that discovered the perfect time and the perfect tempt.

    8. iH8MotherTeresa on

      I love when approximate times are stated in exact numbers. When someone asks me the time, I like to say something like “about 2:16”. I don’t know why but I get a real kick out of it.

    9. How much time do I have to eat it after the 3:47 room temp soak? Could I see a graph that plots relative enjoyment against consumption time, perhaps beginning 22 seconds before optimal consumption time and extending out from there assuming a total consumption time of approximately 1 minute and 39 seconds?

    10. I would be thrilled to know an exact timing for my ice cream sandwich to be perfectly soft and bitable. 

      I always leave it out and pray it is thawed just right when I get back to it. 

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